Boekverslag: Oom Oswald
I haven?t summarised every chapter, because it was a big book. 205 Pages.
It begins with a description of Uncle Oswald. Then the story jumps to a party, which oswald gives. On the party is a man called Major Grout. He begins to tell a story about his trip to the Sudan. And he tells about the Sudanese Blister Beetle. Major told about a time when he was sitting in a chair drinking whisky, and a blister beetle had fallen into it. When the major drank the blister beetle he froze. And his dick began to grow, and was about to explode. He immediately went to a hospital and got a surgery. It took him 2 weeks to get back to his normal him. But after 6 months he began to get back in action again.
The story gave Oswald a great idea. Oswald went to Cambridge for 2 years and had a year to do nothing so he went to Paris to learn the language. One moth later he went to the Sudan to make his idea reality. He bought a lot of beetle powder and made with some other stuff mixed in it, lots of pills. Potency pills.
First he gave 10 pills as a gift to 10 ambassadors. And off coarse the ambassadors wanted more pills immediately after that evening. So Oswald made more pills, and sold them for 100.000 pounds a piece.
Then the war breaks out, and Oswald has to go into the army. After the war is over Oswald meets an old chemistry teacher named : A. R. Worseley. On a night Oswald gets invited to Worsely?s house and Oswald tells his story about the potency pills. And Worseley is surprised. Then Worseley tells a story about how he helped his brother to get great cows. He ?stole? the sperm of a bull, and injected it in a lot of cows of his brother. And all of the cows got nice calves.
Then Oswald got another idea. He thought to freeze the sperm of famous people and sell it for lots of money. Worseley thinks it doesn?t work, but Oswald meets a girl named Yasmin. And she gets the mission to go to Worseley with a chocolate filled with a bit of blister beetle powder. Worseley turns mad and ravishes Yasmin. The next day Worseley was ill, but the day after that Oswald knocks on his door and shows him Worseley?s sperm, and a contract signed by him. It was all because of the blister beetle powder. It makes you do stuff you don?t know about. If you eat it, and wait 9 minutes the stuff begins to work.
Then Worseley thinks it as a great idea and begins to make a semen?s home ( a huge freezer to save sperm in )
Oswald and Yasmin first go to Spain to the king of Spain that is. And collect his sperm. Then they go to Renoir and collect his sperm. Then they go to Monet, then to Monet, then Stravinsky, then Picasso but there it went wrong. Picasso jumped right on her and she couldn?t put a condom on him, so the mission failed on him. But they continued with Matisse. Then they visited Monsieur Proust. But he wanted a boy. So they dressed Yasmin up as a boy. And with a double dose of BB powder. This worked. Then they visited Nijinski in Switzerland, Joyce, Bonnard and Braque. After them they went back to Cambridge to put the sperm-straws into the Semen?s Home. Then they went back to collect the sperm of Puccini, Lucca, Sergei Rachmaninov, Sigmund Freud, Einstein, Thomas Mann. Then they went back to Cambridge again. Then they went to Conrad, Wells, Kipling, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Bernard Shaw. With the last one it went wrong again. They gave him a triple dose, and he wouldn?t stop. So Yasmin had to run for her life. Next they visit another king, I couldn?t quite make up which one but it goes wrong, because Yasmin had eaten the wrong chocolate. Then they decide to go back to Cambridge again. Yasmin decides to take a vacation. And Oswald thinks it is a splendid idea. So Oswald returns to England, and receives a note of Yasmin one day saying: Arthur and I got married. But Oswald did not know who Arthur was, but then it struck him. Arthur was Woresly. And she wrote that Arthur and her had taken the whole business with them. So Oswald had lost his business. So Oswald decided to take up his old business as potency-pills maker. And he became really rich with it. One day he saw a note in the news-paper about Yasmin and Arthur, saying they had become very rich.
It begins with a description of Uncle Oswald. Then the story jumps to a party, which oswald gives. On the party is a man called Major Grout. He begins to tell a story about his trip to the Sudan. And he tells about the Sudanese Blister Beetle. Major told about a time when he was sitting in a chair drinking whisky, and a blister beetle had fallen into it. When the major drank the blister beetle he froze. And his dick began to grow, and was about to explode. He immediately went to a hospital and got a surgery. It took him 2 weeks to get back to his normal him. But after 6 months he began to get back in action again.
The story gave Oswald a great idea. Oswald went to Cambridge for 2 years and had a year to do nothing so he went to Paris to learn the language. One moth later he went to the Sudan to make his idea reality. He bought a lot of beetle powder and made with some other stuff mixed in it, lots of pills. Potency pills.
First he gave 10 pills as a gift to 10 ambassadors. And off coarse the ambassadors wanted more pills immediately after that evening. So Oswald made more pills, and sold them for 100.000 pounds a piece.
Then the war breaks out, and Oswald has to go into the army. After the war is over Oswald meets an old chemistry teacher named : A. R. Worseley. On a night Oswald gets invited to Worsely?s house and Oswald tells his story about the potency pills. And Worseley is surprised. Then Worseley tells a story about how he helped his brother to get great cows. He ?stole? the sperm of a bull, and injected it in a lot of cows of his brother. And all of the cows got nice calves.
Then Oswald got another idea. He thought to freeze the sperm of famous people and sell it for lots of money. Worseley thinks it doesn?t work, but Oswald meets a girl named Yasmin. And she gets the mission to go to Worseley with a chocolate filled with a bit of blister beetle powder. Worseley turns mad and ravishes Yasmin. The next day Worseley was ill, but the day after that Oswald knocks on his door and shows him Worseley?s sperm, and a contract signed by him. It was all because of the blister beetle powder. It makes you do stuff you don?t know about. If you eat it, and wait 9 minutes the stuff begins to work.
Then Worseley thinks it as a great idea and begins to make a semen?s home ( a huge freezer to save sperm in )
Oswald and Yasmin first go to Spain to the king of Spain that is. And collect his sperm. Then they go to Renoir and collect his sperm. Then they go to Monet, then to Monet, then Stravinsky, then Picasso but there it went wrong. Picasso jumped right on her and she couldn?t put a condom on him, so the mission failed on him. But they continued with Matisse. Then they visited Monsieur Proust. But he wanted a boy. So they dressed Yasmin up as a boy. And with a double dose of BB powder. This worked. Then they visited Nijinski in Switzerland, Joyce, Bonnard and Braque. After them they went back to Cambridge to put the sperm-straws into the Semen?s Home. Then they went back to collect the sperm of Puccini, Lucca, Sergei Rachmaninov, Sigmund Freud, Einstein, Thomas Mann. Then they went back to Cambridge again. Then they went to Conrad, Wells, Kipling, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Bernard Shaw. With the last one it went wrong again. They gave him a triple dose, and he wouldn?t stop. So Yasmin had to run for her life. Next they visit another king, I couldn?t quite make up which one but it goes wrong, because Yasmin had eaten the wrong chocolate. Then they decide to go back to Cambridge again. Yasmin decides to take a vacation. And Oswald thinks it is a splendid idea. So Oswald returns to England, and receives a note of Yasmin one day saying: Arthur and I got married. But Oswald did not know who Arthur was, but then it struck him. Arthur was Woresly. And she wrote that Arthur and her had taken the whole business with them. So Oswald had lost his business. So Oswald decided to take up his old business as potency-pills maker. And he became really rich with it. One day he saw a note in the news-paper about Yasmin and Arthur, saying they had become very rich.